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[personal profile] iamwearingpants
Dear Ben Lee,

I feel compelled to list the reasons you gave at the concert tonight that I should immediately turn straight and marry you.

Number one, you covered "Brick" by Ben Folds, and while I was making the amusing connection that both of you are named Ben, you paused in the middle of the song and said, "We should call Folds and sing it to him." And then you ran to your car (which was parked conveniently behind the stage), seized your phone, and called up Ben Folds, who did not answer, but you said to his voicemail, "Hey Foldsie, I'm at Vassar and I'm giving a concert and we're going to sing Brick to you. Just the chorus. (and we sing the chorus) I'll talk to you later."

Number two, while doing your "second bad guitar solo," as you struck the first note. the cord attached to your guitar fell out. Twice in a row. And you gracefully said, "That's actually not the joke." (The joke being the solo, which quickly turned into "Stairway to Heaven.")

Number three, you forgot the words to your own song, twice, and consequently made up new ones that were probably just as awesome.

Number four, you dedicated a song to the person whose high beam headlights were in your face.

Number five, while dueling guitars with your backup, you said, "Nick, I want to play my solo on your guitar." And promptly traded guitars.

Number six, you just looked like you were having the time of your life doing this show.

For all of the above reasons, I want to be the girl who makes you a real rockstar and gives you blowjobs on stage. Let's go elope. Okay? Okay.

Love, Liz.

P.S. No matter what my sister says, the fact that she's wanted to marry you for the last year does not give her priority. Don't listen.

ETA: P.P.S. You wrote a song called "What would Jay-Z do?" and it rocked my life. Further proof that you are amazing and destined to be my husband.

Date: 2007-09-08 06:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] si-end-ght.livejournal.com
Oh God, Brick is one of the only songs that exists that makes me curl up two-fold into sad, cold little tears. I can't imagine hearing it at a concert around other people!

Date: 2007-09-08 12:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] divine-aphasia.livejournal.com
oh man! ben lee is awesome!

Date: 2007-09-08 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iamwearingpants.livejournal.com
He's my husband. The end.

(p.s. I'm coming to Oberlin on Thursday for a few days. I'm sure I'll see you, because there is a home game on Saturday, ja?)

Date: 2007-09-08 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bbykbubbles.livejournal.com
Um, you're gay.

The end.

Date: 2007-09-08 09:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iamwearingpants.livejournal.com
Did you notice the "turn straight" component of my love letter? It is a vital point here.

Date: 2007-09-08 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bbykbubbles.livejournal.com
Yes, I am literate.

I maintain that you are gay.

Date: 2007-09-09 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rara-aviz.livejournal.com
I maintain that Caitlin is right because Liz needn't turn for Ben Lee. He won't marry her. He's marrying ME.

Date: 2007-09-09 05:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iamwearingpants.livejournal.com
FALSE. AGAIN.

Date: 2007-09-09 05:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iamwearingpants.livejournal.com
FALSE. Ben Lee plus Lizbo equal sign TRUE LOVEEEEEE.

The end.

Date: 2007-09-09 05:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rara-aviz.livejournal.com
Andy Fitch, you are wrong.

The end.

Date: 2007-09-09 04:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rcn412.livejournal.com
at least you're not turning straight for some Turkmen dude that you've only known for two weeks, because it has already been stated that I would stab you in the face with a spoon if you did that.

Date: 2007-09-09 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iamwearingpants.livejournal.com
I would stab myself in the face with a spoon. And probably before I got the chance to do so, I can think of about fifteen people who personally would fly out to Turkmenistan to do it for me. You are not alone!

Date: 2007-09-09 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rcn412.livejournal.com
good to know.

Date: 2007-09-20 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bbykbubbles.livejournal.com
Who are these fifteen people? I am curious.

Date: 2007-09-20 02:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iamwearingpants.livejournal.com
You, my sister, Tricia, Meg, Cat (more because I'm not allowed to get married before I'm 30 unless it's to Neil Gaiman or Ben Lee), pretty much any lesbian I am friends with...15 people. I counted. Really.

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